I’ve been thinking about status lately (and I don’t mean Facebook status updates, although I do probably put too much though into those at times). No, I mean status as in social standing, how others view me, and how I view myself. Different labels come pretty easily. Piano player. Punster. Movie lover. Star Wars geek. Bachelor.
That last one, bachelor, has been popping into my consciousness more and more lately, especially as I’m getting older and greyer. It seems to me, in my entirely unscientific observation, that there are two basic thoughts on guys my age or older that have never been married.
1. “You must be one of those playboy George Clooney types, going out with a different supermodel every other week.”
2. “You’re that old & you’ve never been married? What’s wrong with you?”
These are both annoying, because I often find myself wishing the first one were true, and praying that the second one isn’t. It’s just so difficult not to succumb to the stigma of singleness (pardon my alliteration). After you get to a certain age (in my case, 36), one starts to wonder whether or not there actually is something wrong with me (other than the fact that I’m a big chicken when to comes to dating). Then the questions come: Why aren’t I married yet? Why can’t I get a woman to stay with me for any extended period of time? Am I just doing something wrong? Is there something inherently wrong with me? And it goes on and on . . .
In the middle of all this questioning, I remember Paul’s words to the Corinthians: “So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows – it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.” (I Cor. 7:8-9) Just a couple of verses before, he refers to singleness as a gift. If I’m really honest, it’s a gift I’d like to exchange sometimes. It’s that whole “burn with lust” clause. Show me a man who doesn’t deal with lust on a daily basis, and I’ll show you someone who’s either a liar or dead. So, short of becoming a eunuch, marriage seems to be the best option. The only other barrier seems to be a willing partner, which just opens up a whole other line of thought that really isn’t worth going into.
So, with all the doubts and questions circling like vultures above my heart, I choose to believe the following:
God delights in me and rejoices over me with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)
He will never stop doing good to me. (Jeremiah 32:40)
He catches all my tears (Psalm 56:8) and wipes them all away. (Revelation 7:17)
He has good and perfect plans for me. (Jeremiah 32:40)
In Him, I will discover who I am and what I’m living for. (Ephesians 1:11)
I am His beloved child and He is so pleased with me. (Matthew 3:17)
For all the questioning and doubting, the loneliness and labeling, I get to rest in this fact: I’m simply His, and He’s got things planned for me. They may or may not involve a woman, and either way, I’m OK with it . . . well, most of the time . . .
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
Reflections on Isaiah 6:8
“Here am I. Send me.” Just five words. Five simple words. However, if spoken in heartfelt sincerity, they can be among the most dangerous (and most freeing) words on the planet. If you say these words, and really meant it, God will send you. You may not know where, and you most likely won’t know why, but He will send you.
I’ve had to ask myself lately if these are words I’m really ready to say. More to the point, am I willing to say them? After all, willingness is implied in the first three of these words. “Here am I.” As if to say, “I’m willing, I’m available, I’m as ready as I’m ever going to be.” These words require no small amount of courage to say with any degree of sincerity.
Then there’s the second part: “Send me.” Almost feels like asking for, begging for the unknown. It really seems counterintuitive. Send me into uncertainty. Send me into potential danger. Send me into harm’s way. More to the point, send me into the brokenness of the world, into the midst of the hurting, wounded hearts of a fallen world.
Who actually wants that kind of life? What kind of person requests it? I’ll tell you who – someone who has truly experienced the life-changing love of Christ. One who knows that transformation is not only possible, but necessary if this world is to have any sense of hope at all. One who knows that the shift in heart that they have experienced can change this world, even if it’s just one heart at a time.
I’ve spent a lot of time immersed in selfishness, under the guise of “drawing closer to God.” There are many who use church as a spiritual filling station, topping off the tank before embarking on another week. Let me offer something I’ve learned. If you want a heart that is consistently full of the love of Christ, then you have to continually empty it. The more you empty yourself by drenching others in His love, the more your own heart will overflow, allowing you pour out even more, bringing even more overflow, and that cycle will go on, and on, and on. But, the cycle has to start somewhere, and it starts here:
“Here am I! Send me!”
I’ve had to ask myself lately if these are words I’m really ready to say. More to the point, am I willing to say them? After all, willingness is implied in the first three of these words. “Here am I.” As if to say, “I’m willing, I’m available, I’m as ready as I’m ever going to be.” These words require no small amount of courage to say with any degree of sincerity.
Then there’s the second part: “Send me.” Almost feels like asking for, begging for the unknown. It really seems counterintuitive. Send me into uncertainty. Send me into potential danger. Send me into harm’s way. More to the point, send me into the brokenness of the world, into the midst of the hurting, wounded hearts of a fallen world.
Who actually wants that kind of life? What kind of person requests it? I’ll tell you who – someone who has truly experienced the life-changing love of Christ. One who knows that transformation is not only possible, but necessary if this world is to have any sense of hope at all. One who knows that the shift in heart that they have experienced can change this world, even if it’s just one heart at a time.
I’ve spent a lot of time immersed in selfishness, under the guise of “drawing closer to God.” There are many who use church as a spiritual filling station, topping off the tank before embarking on another week. Let me offer something I’ve learned. If you want a heart that is consistently full of the love of Christ, then you have to continually empty it. The more you empty yourself by drenching others in His love, the more your own heart will overflow, allowing you pour out even more, bringing even more overflow, and that cycle will go on, and on, and on. But, the cycle has to start somewhere, and it starts here:
“Here am I! Send me!”
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