All I want for Christmas . . .

It’s now officially the Christmas season. People are now rushing around, trying to get the best deals on gifts for friends and loved ones. Gadgets and toys, all priced to move, the perfect way to show people just how much you love them.

Pardon the above sarcasm, but the older I grow, the less I understand the correlation between stuff and affection. Is the trading of items the best way we know of showing each other that we care? I refuse to believe that. That’s not the example of love that has been set before us.

Sacrifice is the level of love to which we are called. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13) This is the example we’ve been given to follow. This is how Jesus showed His love for us, by giving His life in exchange for ours, so that we could know the Father, so that we, as broken, flawed people, could be seen as flawless by God, and rescued from the Hell that would await us otherwise.

Every year, my parents ask me what I want for Christmas, and every year I struggle with what to ask for. I insist that I really don’t want or need anything, and they press until I name something. I’m not complaining, mind you. It’s just that, while in the past I’d have had no trouble listing off a litany of things that would make my life “easier,” or “better,” now I find that all I want is to see my folks and spend some time with them, to live more fully in the life that Jesus has set before me, to live out the plans He has laid out for me, and . . . well, you get the idea. These are things that can’t be found in any store. They’re matters of the heart, and there is no price tag that can be placed on them. Make no mistake, “stuff” may help the economy right now, but the most important commodity our world has is the human heart and the condition of the soul. “There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.” (C. S. Lewis, “The Weight Of Glory”)

So, along with the physical gifts that tradition demands we buy, let your heart be known as well. I am blessed to have people in my life who are very good at this, and I strive to be better at it. My prayer is that this Christmas is less about the material, and far more about the eternal.

Merry Christmas, my friends. May God bless you far beyond anything you could imagine.

The Uprising . . . it's time!

At what point did we begin to value comfort over obedience? Safety over passion? Rationale over Truth? In an era of political correctness, how did we usher in a sort of spiritual correctness as well? I find myself offended at the effort to be less offensive.

Those of us here in America are fortunate to enjoy the freedoms we have, especially on the area of faith. Sure, as followers of Christ, we tend to be ridiculed a bit, but if that’s the worst of it, we can handle it. As long as we’re not making waves, not upsetting the status quo, then we’re pretty much left to worship in whatever manner we choose . . . just don’t disturb anyone else.

I have lived a great deal of my life in this mode. I kept to myself, did my little church gig, and I was safe. I was comfortable. And I was bored out of my mind. I knew there was something more out there, but I wasn’t willing to leave my realm of safety to find it.

As I look more and more closely at the life of Jesus, he wasn’t just this kind, sweet, sensitive guy that spouted wisdom and went on his way. He was confrontational. He was passionate. He railed against injustice. He spoke Truth that people needed to hear rather than give people the sunshine and roses they thought they wanted to hear. He taught his disciples to do the same. And he calls us to do the same.

So what happened? How did we get from there to here? We’ve traded the call of Christ for a safe, comfortable, insignificant life. We’ve forgotten that the Truth is dangerous and revolutionary. We’ve forgotten that Jesus wasn’t always sweet and nice. Jesus provoked radical thought, stirred hearts, and attracted trouble to himself and those that called him friend and Master. So why have we allowed our minds and hearts to grow numb in these days?

It’s time to reignite the revolution! It’s time for the Uprising to begin anew! If you feel, like I do, that we’ve grown too safe, too tame in our faith and our relationship with Christ, then step up, if you dare! Let your one and only life on this globe count for more than looking out for yourself! The gauntlet has been thrown, and it’s your call: do you pick it up and accept the challenge, or will you just let it fall by the wayside, left unanswered? Check out www.theuprising.net if you want to make a difference in this world and impact eternity . . .

Remebrance

Tonight was kind of a hard night at church. My pastor talked about “What Happens 30 Seconds After You Die.” It was not easy territory. He spoke of when his mother died while he was in his mid 20’s, and it reminded me of when my Mom passed away almost 10 years ago.

In October of ‘08, Mom was diagnosed with brain cancer. Just 3 days shy of 1 year later, on October 19th, 2009, she went home to see Jesus face to face. There’s a part of me that wouldn’t take her away from Paradise for all the money in the world, but there’s the other (admittedly selfish) part of me that would give everything to have her back, even for a day.

I guess there are just some questions to which I’d love to have the answer. With all the changes wrought in my life, especially over the last few years, what would she say about how my life has turned out thus far? How would she feel? Would she be proud, disappointed? Would her opinion be any different now having experienced Heaven first hand?

I know I’ll never have these answers this side of Heaven. And I’m not dwelling on the answers as if my life and my self-esteem hinges upon them. I know in my mind and my heart that those things should only come from God, but, being human, that slips from my conscious mind more often than I would prefer.

It occurs to me that Mom loved yellow roses, and, a few years before she was diagnosed, she had planted some rose bushes outside the house. After Mom died, winter came, and with snow on the ground, the yellow rose bush bloomed. Unlikely as it was, it seemed to me as if Mom was letting me know that she made it home OK, and that she’d always be around.

Jesus, if you see Mom up there . . . tell her I love her and I miss her.

Deputized . . .

The flames climbed ever upward. The smoke filled the room as well as my lungs. I may have been on my last gasp when I was pulled from beneath a rafter plummeting toward my head. Suddenly I was wrapped in a tangle of arms and rubber, being dragged into fresh air. I was handed off to the Fire Chief, who wrapped me in a blanket and patted any remaining flames out.

As I was recovering, coughing the last of the smoke and soot from my respiratory system, the Chief came over. “You OK, son?” I nodded, barely able to speak from the trauma and the sheer gratitude for having been rescued. “Good. EMT’s say you’re gonna be just fine. That bein’ the case, I have a favor to ask.” I looked up, a puzzled look on my face. “ See, we’re understaffed, and we need some help. There’re more people in that building, and now that you know the way out, I’d like you to go back in and lead more people to safety before the whole thing collapses.”

My eyes widened. I just got out of there! Why would I want to rush back into the heart of danger? But then I thought about how these guys risk their lives every day for people they don’t know, and they just did the same for me. How could I refuse? So, I donned the extra gear they had on site, and I waded back into the heat.

It didn’t take long before I found another person in mortal danger. I started yelling at him to get up, get out, the way out was right over there! The guy looks up at me, looks back at the book he’s reading, and says, “Yeah, sure, just let me finish this chapter.” Then he goes back to reading! I couldn’t believe it! It was like he was completely oblivious to the destruction and danger raging all around him. No matter how I pushed or pulled, he wouldn’t budge. Exasperated and reluctant, I moved on.

Not much further was another guy, a kid, really. So engrossed in his video game, he seemed not to know what was raging all around him. I yelled at him, No response. I pushed him. Still no response. I stood between him and the TV. He just craned his neck to see around me.

I started to cry. How could these people be so unaware of the flames, the heat, the absolute raging destruction all around them?! It just didn’t make any sense.

Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? People surrounded by death and destruction not wanting to be rescued, to find the way out? Yet it happens all the time, every day. Maybe the danger isn’t as visible as a raging fire, or the destruction as obvious as rafters falling from above, but it’s just as real. People have embraced what was once thought of as sin in the name of tolerance. Because no one wants to rock the boat, porn has gone mainstream, premarital sex is an expectation rather than the exception . . . and the list could go on and on.

As a follower of Christ, I’m called to sound the alarm, to let people know, not so much that they’re descending into the pit, but that they’ve grown oblivious to the danger that surrounds them and to show them the way to safety. As my pastor has said, “Heaven and Hell are real places, and each one of us will spend eternity in one of them.” Most people either don’t know or don’t care. In Ezekiel, God is pretty clear about their fate: “Then if those who hear the alarm refuse to take action, it is their own fault if they die. They heard the alarm but ignored it, so the responsibility is theirs. If they had listened to the warning, they could have saved their lives.” (Ezekiel 33:4-5) Pretty clear, isn’t it?

So where does my responsibility come in? After all, with the internet, television, and such spreading the message, why should I even try. There are so many more efficient ways to hear about Christ. Read on in Ezekiel: “But if the watchman sees the enemy coming and doesn’t sound the alarm to warn the people, he is responsible for their captivity. They will die in their sins, but I will hold the watchman responsible for their deaths.” (Ezekiel 33:6) I am, as a follower of Jesus, one of the appointed watchmen, and it is my duty to sound the alarm and show those who don’t know the way out, the way to freedom, the way to life eternal. “Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.” (Matthew 28:19)

The fires are raging, and the world is going, quite literally, to Hell. If I know the way out, but keep it to myself, I have essentially sentenced others to eternal suffering. I can’t live my short blip of a life with that knowledge and not acting on it. I am assured of my salvation, I know that I’ll be in heaven with Jesus someday. And I’m going to show as many people as I can the way there. It’s the least I can do after Jesus rescued me from such a fate.

A Life Of Contradiction . . .

I’m coming to realize that my life . . . makes no sense. I know, this is a shock to many who know me, but read carefully the preceding words. I didn’t say that I don’t make sense (though that may certainly be the case . . . on occasion), but that my life didn’t make sense. As I near the close of my 36th year of existence, I’m realizing that I’m currently living a contradictory life.

From an outsider’s perspective, I should be thoroughly discouraged at this stage. Well into my third decade of life, I have never been married (nor do I even have any prospects at the moment), do not own my own home, I bicycle everywhere I go, I work retail . . . And the list can go on and on. Not exactly the life most people envy, is it? From a very worldly perspective, I should be despondent, depressed, on the brink of despair. So why, I ask, do I feel more hopeful, more joyful, more satisfied than I ever have in my life?

Paul’s words ring out to me now more than ever when he writes, “I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.” (Philippians 4:9-10, Message) See, it’s no longer about me, and, in truth, it never was. It is now, and always has been, about the One who makes me who I am. I have found the greatest treasure known to man, so how can I be discouraged over petty details?

Besides, Jesus has me taken care of no matter what. “What’s the price of a pet canary? Some loose change, right? And God cares what happens to it even more than you do. He pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail - even numbering the hairs on your head!” (Matthew 10:29-30, Message) He knows every hair on my head - even the graying ones. “Give your attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” (Matthew 6:34, Message) These are the words of Jesus, letting me know that I am seen and cared for in any and all circumstances. Why should I worry? I’m in the palm of His hand, all day, every day.

Besides, I’m stronger when I’m at my weakest, so I don’t have to let difficulties stress me out. Ah, I can almost see the question mark over your head. Paul explained it best. Talking about a handicap that he had asked God to take away three times, and he heard God say, “My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into it’s own in your weakness.” Paul continues: “Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size - abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so, the weaker I get, the stronger I become.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Message)

See? None of it makes sense; not in a typical, world-based view that has been perpetuated by generations of dissatisfied people. But, it’s the life that God has given me in place of my own pitiful attempts to run my own life. “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy of ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30, Message) This is the offer Jesus give to us all. To live in the “unforced rhythms of grace.” To “live freely and lightly.” Yes, even in this world we inhabit, with all the wars, economic instability, and all the rest of the uncertainty. Real rest can indeed be found. I’ve found it, and I know lots of other people who have as well, and it’s all found in a relationship with Christ. Living a contradictory life can be fun - makes people wonder . . .

Before And After . . .

This weekend, my church celebrated 10 years of following hard after Jesus, looking back at all He has done and realizing that He’s only begun. In one short decade, He has used Quest Community Church to bring over 5,500 people from death to life. From 60 people meeting in a hotel banquet room to building a 2,500 seat worship center to make room for more. It’s fairly obvious to me that He’s only begun, and it’s completely undeserved privilege that allows me to live this life.

In the midst of it all I began to reflect on all God has done in my own life. My heart has been transformed, my soul has been redeemed, and my life is irrevocably no longer my own. I barely resemble the man I was 3 years ago:

I used to be so fearful and insecure. Now, I’m becoming a barbarian for Jesus as I learn more of who I truly am in Christ

I once dreamt of fame and prestige. Now, my dream is to make Jesus famous, and it is my honor to serve Him unreservedly.

My heart used to break because I felt forgotten and insignificant. Today, my heart is absolutely undone at the thought of his lost kids, for the ones who don’t yet know Jesus the way I now know Him.

Before, I needed to understand absolutely everything, and got so frustrated at the realization that I couldn’t. Now, I know that I understand absolutely nothing - and I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

My question used to be, “God, would You do _________ for me?” No more. I now ask, “God, what do You want me to do for You today?” And, I find that my answer to Him is yes, even before He answers my question.

I had big plans for my life, and none of them have come into being. Now, my only plan is to follow Christ, day by day, step by step - and things are actually happening. Things that I would never have imagined, even if you would have told me. (Habakkuk 1:5)

I spent years trying to earn the love of everyone, including God. Now, I realize that I am so dearly loved by God for no other reason than that He made me. I know this because he sent his only boy to die just so that I could know Him. That love is all that matters, and there’s not a thing I can do to earn it. It is freely given without reservation, and I have gratefully, joyfully received it.

I love my church, I love Jesus who rescued me, and I love this life I get to live, even in the hard things. Sounds crazy, I know, but it’s the best life I’ve ever found, and there’s no turning back.

What I found today . . .

I found a rock today. Nothing really remarkable about it. Fairly smooth, as if it‘s had to weather some things that have worn it down quite a bit. It has a couple of black scuff marks on it, as if it’s been kicked around or thrown under a few tires in it’s day. It was just sitting in the road, motionless, waiting for some outside force to act upon it.

I picked it up, and upon closer examination, I found something surprising. As I looked at it, turning it over in the palm of my hand, I realized: I have a lot in common with this rock. I know, weird, right?

As I looked at it, I noticed how many of the words that could describe this rock, could also be used to describe me. Solid. Scuffed. Flawed. Unforgiving. Stagnant. I’ve been all of these things at one time or another. But those only describe the rock as it’s lying in the middle of the road, motionless. As I picked it up and let it roll around in my palm, new thoughts sprung to mind.

See, in my hand, it could hardly keep still. Every slight motion of my hand moved the rock. It almost seemed alive, rolling with every slight twitch. Here it was, this scuffed, scarred, uneven rock that can’t do anything until it’s picked up, and then it seemingly comes to life. And I realized: that’s me. I, too, am scuffed and scarred, in ways that I don’t even realize, I’m sure. I’m certainly uneven in my life, often wavering and tossed about like a leaf on a wave. But, when I’m picked up by the hand of God, resting in the palm of His hand, I seem to come alive. I can’t keep still. And the flaws and black marks make no difference. It’s all useable and beautiful in the hand of a loving God. So that’s where I strive to be; resting in the hand of my Father, moving when He moves, resting when He rests.

My rock is going home with me. Just as a reminder of who I am and the life I really get to live.

I found a rock today. And it was a remarkable, beautiful thing.

Thoughts on the impending "holiday" . . .

Perhaps I watch too many movies. Maybe I read too many books. Maybe I just have my expectations set way too high. Or, it could be that I’m just an incurable romantic at heart, despite being buried beneath a slightly cynical exterior. As we approach the 14th of February, I find my thoughts turning to romantic love and relationships, and the lack of either one through the course of my life to date.

I guess I have certain ideas about what that kind of love is supposed to be like, and I have yet to find anything that even remotely resembles it. I see it in other couples, and as much as I try to avoid comparison, I can’t help but wonder what it is they have that I seem to be missing. Is there, like, a romance gene that has somehow been filtered out of my DNA? Is there a defect in my very soul that won’t allow me to have a love like that? Or am I just stupid and oblivious? Whatever the explanation, it brings nothing but frustration.

It feels like I want something that I either can’t or I’m not supposed to have. It’s like the proverbial carrot on a stick, dangling right out there in front of me, taunting me, daring me to reach for it, knowing that it will always be just out of reach, but hoping against hope that, somehow, this time, my reach will exceed my perceived reality.

There are those well meaning people who, in an attempt to be encouraging, tell me to be patient, to wait on God’s timing, that He’s got “someone” out there for me. I’m starting to think this elusive someone may be in the witness protection program.

My guess (and it’s only a guess at this point) is that there’s still something I have yet to learn in this season of singleness, and I’m apparently too thick-skulled to learn it, or even realize what it actually is. Maybe it’s patience, maybe it’s contentment in all circumstances, maybe it’s how to be fully reliant on God alone. Could be all of the above, or it could be, in the words of the boys from Monty Python, “something completely different.”

James 1:2-4 reads, “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” I want everything God has for me in this, and I want to be “perfect and complete,” but I don’t necessarily want to wait for it. Sort of a spiritual catch-22.

There’s a phrase that appears 3 times in Song Of Solomon that says “do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” I, admittedly, have been guilty of awakening love well before the alarm was set to go off. It’s probably no accident that it’s never turned out very well. And, those experiences may have made me err on the side of extreme caution (hence my propensity towards waiting 5-6 years between relationships). Probably not the healthiest of responses, either. So, it seems there’s a balance to be struck; a balance between caution and risk-taking. I’ve yet to find where that balance lies, but I think I’m inching closer to it, day by day.

For now, I’m simply asking God to direct me into each step He wants me to take, to point out each turn as He wants me to take it. I’m asking Him to highlight hope, to show me glimpses into the plans He’s leading me into, to spur me on to continued obedience and trust in Him and Him alone. I’m asking for an increased capacity to learn whatever it is I’m supposed to be learning. And, I’m asking for Anne Hathaway to find Christ, move into town and fall madly in love with me. (OK, the last one is a pipe dream, but, you have to admit, she’s really cute.) There may or may not be someone out there for me, but I know that, no matter what, I am loved, and I am more than the sum of my emotions and my past. And, really, who could ask for anything more?