A good opening line is vital for writers. If the first line doesn't grab you, chances are you probably won't read much further. A bad opening line is death for a novelist – but a great source of amusement for the rest of the world. Believe it or not, there is a contest for the worst of the worst: the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. A few of my favorites from this year's contest:

Through the verdant plains of North Umbria walked Waylon Ogglethorpe and, as he walked, the clouds whispered his name, the birds of the air sang his praises, and the beasts of the fields from smallest to greatest said, "There goes the most noble among men" -- in other words, a typical stroll for a schizophrenic ventriloquist with delusions of grandeur.
Tom Wallace, Columbia, SC

She walked into my office wearing a body that would make a man write bad checks, but in this paperless age you would first have to obtain her ABA Routing Transit Number and Account Number and then disable your own Overdraft Protection in order to do so.
Steve Lynch, San Marcos, CA

As Holmes, who had a nose for danger, quietly fingered the bloody knife and eyed the various body parts strewn along the dark, deserted highway, he placed his ear to the ground and, with his heart in his throat, silently mouthed to his companion, “Arm yourself, Watson, there is an evil hand afoot ahead. 
Dennis Pearce, Lexington, KY

Not exactly Dickens or Grisham, is it? Opening lines are vital.

So are closing lines.

Think of the movie Casablanca. “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” Can you imagine if the last line had been, “You're an OK guy, Louis.” No one would have quoted that 60 years after the fact.

Or take Gone With The Wind. “Tara! Home. I'll go home. And I'll think of some way to get him back. After all... tomorrow is another day.” A classic closing line.

Jesus' ministry began with a great opening line – straight from the Father Himself. "This is my Son, chosen and marked by my love, delight of my life." (Matthew 3:17, MSG) Quite the ringing endorsement from the Creator of the universe.

Amazingly enough, He wants to speak these words to each of us, as well. Think about it: All through scripture, we are called children of God (Matthew 18:1-5, Ephesians 5:1, I Peter 1:15). And the love of God for His kids is well documented (Romans 5:8, Psalm 59:17). Knowing this, is it really that much of a stretch to hear the words He spoke of Jesus spoken of us as well?

Here's the cool part: The last words that God speaks audibly to Jesus? The very same words. "This is my Son, marked by my love, focus of my delight. Listen to him." (Matthew 17:5, MSG) Peter, as an eye (ear?) witness, verifies this later (II Peter 1:15-17). Not a bad couple of lines to bookend an amazing period in a man's life. And, again, He longs to say these words to us. At the end of our earthly lives, the Father wants desperately to look into our eyes and say to each one of us, “Well done, good and faithful servant!” (Matthew 25:23)

I wish I had a great closing line to end this, but I can't outdo the Man Upstairs. Live your life in this Truth:
“You are My child, marked by My love, focus of My delight.”

The Rules . . .

I just watched the NCIS season finale. This is easily one of my favorite shows. Great stories, good mystery with liberal doses of comedy thrown in . . . just great stuff. The finale tonight dealt a lot with Gibbs’ rules. This list numbers into the 50’s now, and it’s basically Gibbs’ code of conduct; how he approaches life, what he’s learned through experience, etc. Simply put, if you know the rules, you know the man.

Gibbs’ rules are interesting. They range from the practical (#2 – Always wear gloves at a crime scene) to the borderline paranoid (#40 – If it seems someone is out to get you, they are), from instructional (#7 – Always be specific when you lie) to what can only be learned the hard way (#12 – Never date a coworker). A new, almost philosophical rule was added tonight: #51 – Sometimes, you’re wrong.

So, all this talk of rules of conduct got me to thinking; what rules do I live by? What is my code of conduct? The easy. Sunday-school answer is “well, the Bible, of course!” The problem with that is twofold: 1) the Bible is 66 books of direction on how to live. Very few people that I know of have memorized the entire thing and can recall specific verses on a moment’s notice. 2) No one can possibly live up to everything in the Bible every day. (Romans 3:23 – For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of His glorious standard.) In light of this, I’ve decided to compile my own list of rules. I’m sure this will take some time to bring together, but I already know rule #1: It’s always about people.

C. S. Lewis said, “You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.” And, elsewhere, “There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.” We are all eternal beings in temporary homes. Our bodies will wither and die (I know, pleasant thought, isn’t it?), but our souls will go on for eternity. It’s our souls that make us who we are. Our bodies only contain us. So, doesn’t it make sense to invest in something eternal over something temporary? Possessions will break and become obsolete when the “next big thing” comes along. Bones break, bodies get sick, and eventually go back to the dust from whence they came. But the spirit, the soul . . . these will exist from this realm into the next.

This is why my 1^st inviolable rule is what it is. It always has to be about people, because Jesus was always about people. Just read through the New Testament. Everything he said and did was an investment in the lives of people so that they could spend eternity with Him. Jesus knew that this earthly life is not the beginning and end of it all. This is just a blip on the radar in the grand scheme of things. I want to be about what Jesus was about, and that boils down to one word: people.

How about you? If you were to compile a personal list of rules, what’s #1?

The truth must come out . . .

So, I guess it’s time for me to come out of the geek closet (as if there were any question of my geekiness up until now) . . . I like the music of “Weird Al” Yankovic. There, I said it. I feel cleansed now.

In all seriousness, there’s a certain art to what Weird Al does. I mean, who else do you know that has made a very successful career out of parodying the music of other artists? He’s so successful, in fact, that most singers/musicians consider it a barometer of their success when Weird Al does one of their songs.

And when he decides to parody a video . . . well, he doesn’t mess around. He makes it look as close to the original as possible while throwing in his own unique touches. This classic, for example. It’s brilliant, really. So, yes . . . I’m a fan.

That being said, the art of the parody should probably remain in the realm of music. I’ve sadly noticed that parodies have started to sneak into areas of life where it really doesn’t belong . . . like our spiritual lives.

Much like Weird Al taking a song and making it look and sound as much like the original as possible, ultimately, it becomes a big joke. And I’ve seen too many people try to make their lives look and sound like what they think God wants it to be . . . and it’s a joke. A sad, pitiful joke. As much as I hate to admit it, I’ve been one of those people, too.

For so many years, I labored under the delusion that if I said the right words, if I did the right things, then my life would be . . . well, right. After all, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck . . .

Well, I was sadly mistaken. I see that now. I was putting on a show so that others would think well of me and so that God would like me, which is completely counter to what Jesus actually taught. “Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don’t make a performance out f it. It might be good theater, but the God who made you won’t be applauding. When you do something for someone else, don’t call attention to yourself. You’ve seen them in action, I’m sure – ‘playactors’ I call them – treating prayer meeting and street corner alike as a stage, acting compassionate as long as someone is watching, playing to the crowds. They get applause, true, but that’s al they get. When you help someone, don’t think about how it looks. Just do it – quietly and unobtrusively. That is the way your God, who conceived you in love, working behind the scenes, helps you out.” (Matthew 6:1-4, Message)

In other words, don’t be a parody of the life Jesus has actually called you to. If you try to approximate the life He’s called you to, but with your own tweaks added in . . . then the joke is on you.