I’ve been thinking about status lately (and I don’t mean Facebook status updates, although I do probably put too much though into those at times). No, I mean status as in social standing, how others view me, and how I view myself. Different labels come pretty easily. Piano player. Punster. Movie lover. Star Wars geek. Bachelor.
That last one, bachelor, has been popping into my consciousness more and more lately, especially as I’m getting older and greyer. It seems to me, in my entirely unscientific observation, that there are two basic thoughts on guys my age or older that have never been married.
1. “You must be one of those playboy George Clooney types, going out with a different supermodel every other week.”
2. “You’re that old & you’ve never been married? What’s wrong with you?”
These are both annoying, because I often find myself wishing the first one were true, and praying that the second one isn’t. It’s just so difficult not to succumb to the stigma of singleness (pardon my alliteration). After you get to a certain age (in my case, 36), one starts to wonder whether or not there actually is something wrong with me (other than the fact that I’m a big chicken when to comes to dating). Then the questions come: Why aren’t I married yet? Why can’t I get a woman to stay with me for any extended period of time? Am I just doing something wrong? Is there something inherently wrong with me? And it goes on and on . . .
In the middle of all this questioning, I remember Paul’s words to the Corinthians: “So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows – it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.” (I Cor. 7:8-9) Just a couple of verses before, he refers to singleness as a gift. If I’m really honest, it’s a gift I’d like to exchange sometimes. It’s that whole “burn with lust” clause. Show me a man who doesn’t deal with lust on a daily basis, and I’ll show you someone who’s either a liar or dead. So, short of becoming a eunuch, marriage seems to be the best option. The only other barrier seems to be a willing partner, which just opens up a whole other line of thought that really isn’t worth going into.
So, with all the doubts and questions circling like vultures above my heart, I choose to believe the following:
God delights in me and rejoices over me with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)
He will never stop doing good to me. (Jeremiah 32:40)
He catches all my tears (Psalm 56:8) and wipes them all away. (Revelation 7:17)
He has good and perfect plans for me. (Jeremiah 32:40)
In Him, I will discover who I am and what I’m living for. (Ephesians 1:11)
I am His beloved child and He is so pleased with me. (Matthew 3:17)
For all the questioning and doubting, the loneliness and labeling, I get to rest in this fact: I’m simply His, and He’s got things planned for me. They may or may not involve a woman, and either way, I’m OK with it . . . well, most of the time . . .
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