Perfectly Flawed

I’ve said it before, and I’ll reiterate here: contrary to popular belief, I am not perfect. I am a flawed human being. I have my issues just like everyone else in the world. I make bad choices, I laugh at things that aren’t necessarily “appropriate,” and I do battle daily with what I’ll call (for the sake of family-friendly blogging) impure thoughts. I’m not proud of it, but it’s the truth. I’m a screw-up. I don’t want to make the wrong decisions, but I do.

I empathize with Paul when he wrote, “I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate . . . I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.” (Romans 7:15, 19) I know the right things to do, and I know what I should avoid, but, somehow, I get it backwards. I do the things I should be avoiding, and I avoid the things I should be embracing. Why? The answer lies a few verses later: “I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.” (vs. 22-23)

So, how can I escape this pattern of behavior that plagues me? I Corinthians 10:13 seems to have the answer: “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure.” The trick here is a two-parter: 1) recognizing the way out, and 2) choosing to use it. This, my friends, is harder than it seems. Well, at least the second part poses some difficulty in my little world.

If the grace of God is enough to cover a “multitude of sins” (James 5:20), then why do I need to worry about right and wrong? Doesn’t that give me license to do what I want, knowing God will forgive me if I ask? Not necessarily. Paul writes “You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’ – but not everything is good for you. You say, ‘I am allowed to do anything’ – but not everything is beneficial.” (I Corinthians 10:23) You see, realizing that sin is bad for you in the long run should be an effective deterrent from said sin. But that’s not enough. We can’t choose right under our own power. We’re just not strong enough. We’re all just flawed human beings.

Where does this strength come from? Describing of a “thorn” in his side (what some scholars believe to be a chronic illness of some kind), Paul said “Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time He said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’” (II Corinthians 12:8-9a) In our weakest moments, the times of our greatest temptations, that’s when God power becomes most evident. Most people want God to move in their lives so that they never experience hard times or fall to temptation. But it’s precisely in those times that we need Him most, and it’s in those desperate moments that God’s presence and love are most clearly shown to us.

The next time temptations come, my goal is to seek the way out God provides and actually use it. To depend solely on His grace rather than my own meager resources. To let His strength work in my weakness. And, most of all, to rest in the knowledge that I’m His kid, and that He, more than anyone else, is rooting for me to make the right choices, the ones that are beneficial, not just permissible. And that is my prayer for you, as well, whoever you may be.